Since we all live so much of our lives on our phones, now, it seems weird not to be able to start this conversation by dragging in a picture or a meme to start trying to explain what I don't quite know how to put into words ( Read more... )

Travis and I are engaged and we found rings. This news is so surprising to me I've written two entries about it like it's brand new news because I still haven't incorporated it into my self-concept! Wow ( Read more... )

Found a bunch of stuff I wrote about old boyfriends from 10 and five years ago. Disturbing similarities to things I've written about current partners. Maybe I only date people whose laughs I like, or I have a consistent writing style, or it feels the same because I recognize it as my own writing. Maybe I should let it go. Probably that's it. ( Read more... )

Josh and I are going to couples' counselling in preparation (or not, as it may turn out) of moving to Colorado ( Read more... )

Long drive for a family funeral where everyone's eyes overwhelmed with essence of ocean at the same time, the first few notes of Taps.

Surreal. Flashing in and out. I stop listening when they start picking at me, all isn't that enough lunch for three people? I say nothing and eat it all as quickly as possible, though it's seemingly composed of ( Read more... )

Scenes over the last few weeks:

Thank god for spring.

( Content warning: not giving a fuck about suicidality. )

Last night, when the alarm on my phone went off, I must have picked my phone up and somehow managed to type: "Yeah. I'm hoping for the summer love..."That about sums up my life right now. Waiting for the love of summer, for this desperate grief to lift-I mourn my own incapacity, and my selfishness. Depression and fatigue cloud my mind to the ( Read more... )

The thing about being an adult is that I have no one to blame for all of this ( Read more... )

I'm doing a thing. Me and Josh are doing a thing, maybe, with a friend who probably does not want to be named right now so I'm going to respect her privacy ( Read more... )

So, as is usual, I forget to write in my journal when there's shit actually happening.

I read a monologue at a local event on Sunday. I was fairly out of it because hello, disassociation! But I have been told I did well. Whenever they put the video up, I'll link it here along with my personal reading's transcript.

Josh and I have no money in ( Read more... )